But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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