We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's rum buckets o'clock
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
