so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
