No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
