Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
