We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
