so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
