He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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