I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
