I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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