Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I want her autograph on my taint
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
