So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
