Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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