You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
