so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
