Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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