I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize