Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize