I think I am morally bankrupt
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
