i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
