i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We were destined to go to rehab together
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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