we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Let's get the cat blown out
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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