I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
