..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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