rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
