Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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