were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
thus making me awesome and them whores
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
