things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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