I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize