omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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