we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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