dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
