Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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