This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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