Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
BRING THE BAGELS
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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