Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i will never coherently bang her
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
