FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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