But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
