I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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