At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
