That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize