What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
