I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
