Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
