then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
