Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
did you just send me my own nude
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
