Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
