Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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