I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Fuck appropriateness.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize