With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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