hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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