and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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