i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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