I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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