I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
