This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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