just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
