she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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