Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
