is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
