In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
