there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
