I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
